How to Break up - End a Relationship

Breaking off a relationship is a difficult thing to do so it can be tempting to take the easy way out and leave without notice or wait until you have someone else waiting in the wings. Unfortunately, the "easy way out" usually turns out to be the hard way out for everyone in the long run.

When you decide to break off a relationship, the most important rule to remember is the Golden Rule. Your partner will be hurting when you initiate the break up so make it as clean and straight-forward as possible. Most importantly: don't leave them with false hopes.

1. Make up your mind and make it clean

Your partner will be hurt that you don't want to remain dates or that you don't come running back, but they'll appreciate it in the long run. There's nothing more poisonous to the mind than being stuck in a relationship with someone who has on-and-off feelings for you. There's nothing wrong with remaining friends afterwards, and I highly recommend it. It never pays to become enemies with a previous date.

2. Use the most direct form of communication you have used so far

Even though you're ready to leave the relationship, it's still proper to show enough respect for the other person that you use the most direct form of communication that you two have used so far.

If you're involved in a traditional relationship, meet up in person and explain yourself. You don't need to come up with a bunch of excuses but you should let your partner know that you need to move on. Be firm about it so you don't leave your ex with any false hopes.

When you're ready to stop talking with someone that you've only met online, use the most direct form of communication that you've used so far. If you two e-mail each other and talk on the phone, do it by phone. There's really no point in meeting up in person for the first time just for a break up.

Text messaging is such a popular activity in this day in age, but is not a good way to break off a relationship. It is the easy way out and can really leave things bad. It is best to meet the person (if you have met before) and tell them face to face.

3. Dump as you would like to be dumped

Being dumped is never easy but imagine how you would like to be dumped if the tables were turned on you. Be kind, be gentle and be firm. Your partner will likely want to have his or her say, which is completely fine. If your partner has questions, answer those questions as truthfully as you can under the circumstances. Stick with the Golden Rule and you'll be fine.

4. Break up before you move on

This is just common courtesy. You really owe it to your partner to break up with him or her before you start dating someone else. Not only is this the proper thing to do but it's also healthier for you in the long run.

If you have to get out of a relationship, don't be afraid of being alone. Sometimes that's a major factor that keeps people in unhealthy relationships. It really just causes more problems down the road. It will also make your next partner wonder if you'll ever do the same thing again.

5. Let your ex move on

Even though you're the person who initiated the break up, you're likely to feel jealous if you see your partner move on. That's only natural but you have to learn to let those feelings pass.

It's tempting to call your ex and let him or her know what you think of the new beau but don't do it. It's only self-serving and it will only make it harder for your ex to move on. Remember; you were the one who initiated the break up so just let it go.

The Break Up Bottom Line

The bottom line of the suggestions above is to be as nice as possible and try to remain friends. They are also referring to un-married partners. If you are married, you should not break up and get a divorce. The bible is very clear that God disapproves of divorce and it should not be done. If married, do everything you can to work things out between you too.